Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
