i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize