Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
