Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
