How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
