I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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