Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize