Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
