I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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