I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
