i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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