Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
