May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
