apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
