Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize