Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
