My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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