After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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