If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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