I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
