Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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