guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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