She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
