Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
