oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize