which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
