You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
