Are we in a gay sports bar?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
