how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
