Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
