i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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