We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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