Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
babies were throwing up all over the place
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
