My room smells like vodka and shame
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize