then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
