I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
