She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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