Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize