Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
