It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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