have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
