its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
