I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
