he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
