Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
