idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
