Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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