my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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