I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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