Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
