I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
