I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
