I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
