playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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