I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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