Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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