Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
