u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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