North Korea, Best Korea!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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