i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
