I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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