hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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