okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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