Porn is love you can see.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
