He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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