there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
