im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So much Jack, so little girl.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
