i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
